dumbed down. UPDATED! and UPDATED AGAIN!

this morning i got my wisdom teeth out at 8 15. on the way home i fell asleep while my mom went into HEB to pick up my pain meds, and when she came back out and woke me up to take my meds, i had to take the gauze out, terrible idea. the local anesthesia had completely worn off. it felt like someone had a knife and was jamming it as far into my gums as it could go. i couldn't help but cry, and i have a pretty impressive pain tolerance. lucky for me i was able to pop an Ultram, which works within a minute and is my new favorite thing.

"PRO DRUG"

[super very awesome]

down side to my miracle drug, it goes away as quickly as it comes on, so the stabbing pain has come back once again. i quickly solved it by popping another pill. i am not hungry at all, but my mom has insisted i eat something, so i'm going to try some chocolate ice cream soup. and it tastes normal and delicious. i am now taking them every hour or two instead of every four hours like the bottle says for fear of the stabbing pain. this is what i look like with my ice packs on, enjoy:

it's like i'm a chipmunk who hoards wash cloths in my cheeks.

maybe more later?

i'm super loopy,

as you can tell by the smile on my face.

EDIT:
i know this may sound crazy, but after this experience i find that i feel like surgery is AWESOME. so, you need to get some teeth out? ok we'll just cut those babies out.

initial reaction? FREAKOUT OMG WHAT IF I DIE OR SOMETHING GOES WRONG AND I FEEL EVERYTHING AND I CAN'T MORE OR TELL THEM AND I'M IN AGONY?! WHAT IF THE PAIN IS SO TERRIBLE AFTERWARDS WHAT WILL I DO OMG OMG OGM?!!?!

solution: my awesome doctor, Dr. Cunningham, reassured me that i would be relaxed and feel nothing. i would go to sleep and wake up without teeth and pain free. to calm my initial nerves? how about a valium for the night before, and an hour before the surgery? yes, please. i slept with ease the night before and had no trouble sliding into the operating chair. next thing i remember i've got an iv in my hand, i say it's burning, they say that means it's working and i'm out cold.

just like magic, i wake up in the recovery room. my previous fear of being in a shit ton of pain was, in hindsight, ridiculous. i proceed to attempt to converse with my fellow recoverers, who are unconscious still, which sends me into a fit of gauze filled mouth hysterics. a girl next to me finally wakes up enough to mumble, so i try and talk to her about how awesome and laughy she will soon feel. everything is funny for a while, and i'm sure half the people around me have no idea what kind of drugs i was given, although i am sure they are jealous.

when a little pain emerges on my bottom left side, Dr. C. is quick to shoot me up with some more local, and his son later will do the same to my right. i mention to my male nurse escort as we walk to the car that i feel like doing a cartwheel would be awesome right now, even though i know it probably isn't that good of an idea. i think he thinks i'm crazy. i hop down some steps and freak him the fuck out because he thinks i'm just falling and proceed to the car where the terrible HEB-drug-wore-off-too-fast scenario takes place.

since then, i have been in little to no pain. i have had melted chocolate ice cream, cool chicken broth, small bites of tilapia, chocolate silk pie, not melted chocolate ice cream, and some green tea. i even woke up after sleeping all night with little pain.

WHAT A RELIEF.




EDIT AGAIN:

ok, so i have to go back on some of what i said, or maybe just clarify a few things. the surgery part, i guess i can still say that part was awesome and surpassed my expectations, but the recovery part, that part isn't so awesome.

it's been a day shy of a week since my surgery, and i am still on a liquid/mushy foods diet. i wake up in a lot of pain once during the night and in the morning, and it has started to take a lot longer for the medicine to take over. i am also starting to feel nauseous and light headed when i take it. i think this is because i'm not just laying in bed all day, and i am actually trying to be a real person and do real people things.

i wish i could have no responsibilities until i was completely healed.

on the other hand, i did have a great week with my friend leesa, who came in town to go to SXSW. we saw a lot of good shows, i bought a lot of new aa shit at the factory flea market, and we even saw Gwar enough times for them to get annoying. i'm sad she's gone.

i think i'll nap now.

and the miracles continue!

so today, i did a terribly idiotic thing, and instead of being punished by the universe for my lack of common sense, i was saved! not in the jesus sense though. this will all make more sense if i give y'all some background information. unfortunately, some terrible things have happened to me and those around me. about a year or so ago, my car got broken into and my sunglasses, ipod, fm transmitter, digital camera, film camera, lenses and flash were all stolen. needless to say i was heart broken, and i am left with a deep fear of leaving my car overnight on riverside. i'm sure plenty of fellow austinites can attest that this is a perfectly rational fear. riverside is one thing, but you think you'd be rather safe at the new, living-dining-shopping area named the triangle. needless to say there are douchebags everywhere, no matter where you are in a city, and a coworker of mine recently got her car window smashed in while at work. also, about a month ago, i was parked at a meter downtown. i got a ticket. one minute after my time expired. ONE MINUTE AFTER. oh, and technology hates me, a lot. all of my mechanical things get broken or stolen or dropped in toilets or just decide to die merely because i own them. it's really great.

on to today.

so i've decided to drop a class that i've convinced myself i'm going to fail and don't put enough time aside for. dropping a class after the first 12 class days is not easy. you have to build up the courage to ask your professor to let you drop the class and sign the drop form, you have to get an advisor to sign it, if you're classified as a senior, which i am, and get the dean of your department to sign it. seems like a lot to me.

i drive to school in order to do this, leaving my car parked at a meter for an hour, plenty of time, so i think. i find the building and the room easy enough, get the advisor signature no big deal, and decide i'll need more time to work up the balls to tell my professor i want out. fred boy and i are due an adventure anyway, and we need to get on that. so i head back to my car. my car which is conveniently parked behind urban outfitters. i see the store on my way home, realize how quickly i've completed what i've come to do and decide to reward myself with perhaps some new shoes, which i've been wanting for foreeeeever. [see multiple previous posts about shoes]

i could easily spend a day in urban, but luckily i have a goal [and only about 45 minutes]. shoes, shoes only. doesn't stop me from walking through the sales racks looking for things i just have to have. thankfully, it's mostly all winter stuff, and i'm not so crazy to buy winter things when spring's just now arriving. i try on two pairs of shoes and while i'm slipping the second one's off contemplating the purchase i decide to check the time, no way it's been an hour. on wait, it's 10 minutes after i should be back at my car. HOW DID I SPEND 45 MINUTES TRYING ON TWO PAIRS OF SHOES?

i completely disregard my anxiety towards buying things and purchase the shoes. they are awesome, and i am glad i had to make a rash decision because otherwise i would probably have talked myself out of these beauties:

via urban

so i run out of the store with my new purchase, turn the corner, cross the parking lot, and thankfully i see  that my car is without a ticket!! woo!! then panic sets in. MY PASSENGER SIDE WINDOW IS NOT THERE. OH MY FUCKING GOD. did they steal all my things? is there going to be glass all inside my car? how could this happen? is this punishment for my second expired meter? 

as i get closer to the car, i realize that no one broke in, I AM AN IDIOT, and i have left my passenger side window rolled down. all the way down. even better? the compartment where i keep my iPod is WIDE OPEN. guess i forgot to close that too. AWESOME.

i get in my car to realize that i must have done something right, or the universe just felt really sorry for me for being such an idiot because all of my stuff is intact as well as clearly visible. or maybe a thief was going to steal my iPod, but he felt intimidated by the inscription my brother, who gave it to me as a most awesome gift this christmas, had them engrave. it says, "Allison's Ipod. Don't you f'n lose this!" or maybe he was worried that i might experience extreme consequences as a result of losing it. [what a caring thief!] 

i then returned home very thankful and feeling very dumb to retrieve the Fred. we are now at Spiderhouse enjoying this BEAUTIFUL weather. Fred boy's attracting strangers with his tiny cuteness, and i'm having some chips and salsa and a Caipirinha. if you've never had one, i'd recommend it, but they're most tasty in Spain. it's a Brazilian drink so i feel like they'd probably do a great job in Brazil too. just an assumption. 

enjoy your day! [and my quasi-duck face]

-allison and fred

toe freedom! [i had the urge to say toe-tal freedom, but i couldn't make myself follow through]

OMG. thank you to  hipstercrite for posting about your lace slipper socks. i have found the answer to my HATE of wearing tights with open toe shoes, and so much more. i know it's at least a little bit weird, but i can't stand wearing tights with shoes with open toes; it just doesn't look right. i think it has to do with the seam. it's ugly. the solution?

FIVE TOES KNEE HIGHS AND STOCKINGS!

stockings

LOOK HOW FREE HER TOES ARE!!

thigh highs

5 dollar BRIGHT COLORED TIGHTS

unyielding tights

basically, it's like american apparel's cheap free-shipping cousin that i'm going to have to take advantage of. thank you, sock theory, for solving my strange toe freedom crisis.

-allison

i should do some sit ups...

so, i'm about to do some calisthenics, and i decide to google some motivational pictures. results were as follows...

GOOD:

this is what i would like my stomach to look like, sooner than later.

BAD:

i seriously feel uncomfortable looking at this.

WTF:

something is terribly wrong here.

-allison

instead of paying attention

there are a lot of things i tend to do instead of listening in class. i especially like to doodle about exactly what it is that is most distracting right then, which usually involves food. it also tends to be the people around me. i fucking love people watching and silently judging them, or taking notes about them. anyway, here's an example from the other day:

[click to enlarge]

of course i couldn't exclude Shannon's wants, 

she sits next to me in class.

way more important than reconstructing protolanguages, right?

things i would rather be doing that sitting here waiting for class to start:

1) Drinking mimosas. I have been craving mimosas for at least all day, probably longer.

 

+

 

2) Sitting by the pool in the sun, even better if it would be in a foreign country or by a waterfall.

good: 

better: 

3) Eating Nerds candy:

OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

4) Being fed grapes:

 

+ 

-

spit strings

5) Seeing these guys in concert:

that's all i have time for. now i get to think about all the things i'd like to be doing instead of being in class.